Mid-December update…

Amanda and I made an advent calendar for mom and so far we’ve had a game night, walked down town Grapevine, saw a lighted boat parade and attended a Christmas choir concert. This weekend we’re going to Frisco Square to see their lights, back to Grapevine for the ICE! exhibit, have a fancy dinner at Mom’s house, since carols on Christmas Eve and spend Christmas with family.

Today at work we had our Holiday Celebration… everyone brought two dozen cookies. One dozen to sample, one dozen to gift. We started cookie grazing around 9am… by 11am we were in the meeting room waiting on Pei Wei for our group lunch. We sat, ate and talked until after 1:30, then we cookie exchanged and left. This isn’t even all of the cookies we “sampled”


On a personal note, I have two job interviews tomorrow. Actually two “second” interviews tomorrow. The first one is at 9am and it’s for a local job that my manager wants me to go for. The second one is at 1pm and it’s for the job in Austin that I first interviewed at almost two months ago. It was the end of October and now it’s the middle of December so it’s gone on for quite a while. Hopefully I’ll hear something about either or both really quick, preferably the job in Austin first since it’s still my ideal position.

Anyway… Happy Holidays!

December Happy Dance!

Sooo like always I don’t have any pictures to go along with what I’m gonna blog but that’s ok.

It’s only December 1st and I’m more on top of Christmas than I have ever been.
This past weekend Amanda helped me shop (and I’m mostly done already), decorate my apartment while I put up the tree and create an advent calendar for mom! It’s super cute and she likes it a lot. So today I’m working on Amanda’s. I hope to be done with it tonight so she can still flip the 1st over and see what she gets (to do). Most of mine aren’t treats. They are things to do, or make, or see… I hope she likes it. It’s going to look a lot different than moms but a similar idea. I just need to go get the “go with its”…. that’s what tonight is gonna be. Finish assembly and hand it over!

Tomorrow Amanda and I are going to meet up with Eryn and Grant at Willowbend for the Hanukkahfest.

Friday afternoon I get to meet up with Hot Amber for lunch… it’s seriously been close to a year since I’ve seen her…

Saturday mom has to work but a couple of cities are doing “holiday tree lightings” so we might try to hit up one of those

Sunday is another festive even if mom’s up for it… otherwise just dinner and family fun!

Hope you’re first week of December is treating you well!

Man oh, man… Now I feel like a slacker. I got on and Amanda had 3 and Allie had 1 new blogs that I had to read and comment on… My turn:

So (again) I haven’t really done anything off my “list” but I’m not worried about it.

YAY for being in the “tent” of contentment. For Allie, b/c Amanda was there with me, the reason (or one of) that we love Saint Andrews so much is because their sermons are really relatable. This one especially: it was about being satisfied with where you are in life and what you have. Not that you shouldn’t aspire for bigger and better things but to learn to be thankful for what you have and appreciate where you are. It couldn’t have come at a better time; for me at least. I’ve been struggling with the “want” for so much and the feeling that either I or what I was doing wasn’t good enough - my job, my friends (or seemingly lack of), and especially my lurve life. Having the feeling that I should be out there doing more – and maybe I still should. BUT THE LESSON IS: to be thankful for the job I do have, the friends that have stuck by and the possibility of a “parade of men” as my mom would say.

So here we have a picture from the Plano Hot Air Ballon Festival. Pretty right?


And here we have my Mr. Handsome looking away but also very handsome...


Much Love! Have a great rest of the week...

Conundrum...

I really, really want to learn how people “live in the present.” I feel like I’m stuck in a doldrum because I am constantly looking backwards or forwards. Worrying and wondering. Just thinking… about everything, always. I’ve got to analyze all the possible outcomes and if there is a really negative one, I think it’s not worth it, even if it’s more likely for a positive or happy ending. I have these aspirations to be happier and enjoy life more, but it doesn’t seem to come very natural so I’m stuck wondering (again) how people do it. Does it come natural to them or are they faking it till they make it. If it’s the latter, how do they do it?!?!? How do they force themselves into what’s most likely uncomfortable situations in order to “live and learn.” How do they stop themselves from thinking too much, or do they just ignore their subconscious and do it anyway?

These are the things I want to know. Because as my previous post mentioned (and even more before that) there are a ton of things that I want to do. That just need to be “done” but I haven’t even begun to get things aligned in order to mark things off…

Blarg… it’s Thursday so the week’s almost over. Maybe this weekend I can do something fabulous and exciting. Maybe someone should hold me too it. (And I know that someone should be myself, but obviously that’s too hard…)

I’m gonna work on my Christmas List for the family now because they are all over me about it… Thanks for listening to me.

Too much alone time makes me think…

... of things to do before I "expire"

Spend at least a week in all 50 states
Sail a boat – in real water
Parasail
Ski
Sledding
Mud wrestle
Complete a marathon (but first)
- 10k
- Half marathon
Ride in a helicopter
Ride in a hot air balloon
Write a book
Learn astrology
Ride a horse (and/or cowboy)
Chase a storm
Climb a mountain
Scuba dive
Go on a cruise
Travel Europe (these places and more)
- Ireland
- England
- France
- Spain
- Greece
- Italy
Spend Christmas (winter) in Maine
Spend New Years in New York (watch the ball drop live)
Go to a Rex Sox home game
Become a professional whistler

I'm sure this list will grow... but these are what I came up with today. In no particular order. Anything you want to do...?

5k #1

Well... technically #2 b/c we did the Susan G Komen back in April? I don’t know... but this is the first one of the several I’m hoping to do before the year is up and even some into next year. I figured to track a few different measurements of improvement I’d track my distance (which will pretty much be the same for all the races but I might up the ante a little later), my time and my weight. The race was fun, but as soon as we got there and picked up our registration packets it started to pouring... torrential rain. But the race still went on and we sloshed through 2 feet of running water while walking up hills at some points. I hoping that b/c we were at a disadvantage this time, my stats will improve some next time.

Rahr Oktoberfest 5k, benefiting Habitat for Humanity, 9/25/10:

Distance: 3.1 Miles

Time: 53:57

Rank: 694 out of 745.

Weight: 248

Happy Monday!

It feels amazing outside so even though I’m super excited and happy about that it brings me down some to know I have to spend the majority of the day inside at work. To recap the weekend, on Friday Amanda and I planned on going to the State Fair; and we got there… eventually. At first, we decided to go to McDonalds (even though we hate there food) b/c we though the tray liners were for $4 tickets, not $4 off the ticket. So then we decided that b/c we were probably going to go several times, at least 3, we might as well get seasons passes b/c they are only $30 total and you get a free Movie Pass. J So we went to Kroger to get that… then we headed towards 635. When we got there it was a total standstill for as far as the eye could see in both directions. So we figured we’d go a little further then take a larger “city street” over to 75. Well when we turned on the city street, it was super congested too. Mind you this is noon on a Friday so a little lunch traffic is to be expected but not bumper to bumper traffic on the highway AND city streets. So we putt, putted along and ended up in the right hand lane behind a Semi. Apparently this Semi was a little too tall and clipped a low hanging branch that fell in front of/on my car hood. It didn’t break entirely from the tree so that was our only saving grace b/c it just dangled didn’t free fall from 12 feet up. Well the Semi just trucked on and no one, not even one person pretended to care or offer to help just huffed and puffed like it was our fault that we were road blocked. Eventually after not being able to move the branch we had to back up and go around and another Semi in the middle lane allowed us through. We decided that if one more thing went wrong we were going to turn around and go home but fortunately it did not. We got to the fair in one peace and had a pretty good time... except for the food. The mandatory corn dog that Amanda and I shared was kind of weird. Maybe first day issues, but I probably won’t get another one b/c I’m not that big on them anyway. My favorite dip sample station made me choke… so we went to get drink but it was flat and disgusting. We couldn’t even finish it. Then we figured we’d try at least one of the new fried things and I got the fried Margarita… it’s like fried funnel cake batter they supposedly mixed margarita mix into placed in a cup, drowned in actual margarita liquid and topped with whipped cream. The fried portion was weird b/c they were getting soggy sitting in the drink and whipped cream and margarita is just an odd combination but once all that was out of the cup the actual drink was good. Then we headed home to nap before going to Matt and Baileys for back porch sitting/drinking times. It was super fun but we stayed out a little late since we had a 5k the next morning. That will be a post in and of it’s self. Flash forward to Sunday and all that really happened was breakfast with sister, a little bit of church (that I went to alllll by mysellllllllf), shopping and lunch with mom and then a little more shopping with Amanda.

How was your weekend?

Fall = New Start

So I went to http://www.c25k.com/ b/c I'm interested in signing up for some 5k's. I'm content to (speed) walk them but at some point I'd like to jog/run them. I don't know why I couldn't. So in some of my looking around there was a training regimen for a couch potato to 5k-er. Hints the website. While on there, they had a link to http://www.c25k.com/ben_video.html. Super inspirational. So in my stalking ways I went to this amazing guys actual blog, http://bendoeslife.com/, and am more determined than ever to start speed walk/jogging. I may not drop the pounds as fast as him or make it to being a marathoner but I want to be a confident 5 to 10k-er. It's a start at least.

I've found a few 5k fun run/walks that Mom and Amanda might do with me... but starting the new year I want to be able to sign up for some and actually jog them. So my current year resolution is to be a 5k-er in 30-40 mins. That's just 3 miles at 10-12 mins/mile. I can already walk a 15 min mile but not more than one or two then I slow down... but I'm going to start working on this new goal and see where things go.

It's raining...

...on my blog and outside and they both make me happy!! I love it when the world is dark and gloomy. Ok, maybe that's too much but I do love the cooler weather we're having as a result of the rain showers. I know it will probably get hot again before it cools off for real but this is a nice reprieve. Ok off that soap box and onto another.

I've pissed and moaned about not feeling all that fantastic before and trying to find something more meaningful to do with my life. We'll I don’t know what that's going to be for a "full time" thing but I've found two organizations that I'm going to start volunteering at. Yesterday was my first day/orientation at Second Chance SPCA - a non-kill shelter in Plano. They are pretty small but really nice and I'm looking forward to working with them. They have a few offsites planned so I hope that I can work that into my schedule.

I also sent over an application to volunteer with Communities in Schools an "in-school" tutoring program. The only issue here is that they generally work with kids for an hour or so during the school day. B/c of my job I can only really help out after 4. There is only one school that has an after school program that might work so we're going to see if/when they need help and if it works out. If not I'll get back on the search for a volunteer tutoring program.

The other thing I'm really excited about and I do mean really excited for is all the 5k fun run/walks going on in the next few months. It's running season and even though I am not in shape at all for even a jog I can speed walk with the best of them and want to do my part in supporting local causes through registration fees to participate in some of the events.

With all these new and exciting things going on I’ve realized I need a new planner. Something a little more appropriate than the Target Dollar Spot purse planner I got last year. It’s been good to me all along, but I think one of the planners with a daily times listed might be better… or at least one that goes weekly so that I can plan it all out and have a better picture of what I’m getting myself into.

But before any of that going into full effect we’re going on vacation!!! I’m so excited. A long weekend vaca and then the rest of the week off work to rest and relax.

Whoops!

So since I was off on Tuesday I forgot to update you... I didnt check my weight that day but I checked on Wednesday or Thursday and I was like 2 or 3 lbs down. I think my problem is the weekends! I'll do ok with food throughout the week but come the weekend and it's all down hill. Eatting out, maybe a drink or some form of liquid calories. BOOO is what I say about evil tempting my weekends.

In other news I had a lot of fun this last week even though it seems to be dragging on... It's finally Friday!

So a week ago today Amanda and I went to the Ranger's game!

It was tons of fun even though it was supposed to be 106 with a heat index of 111.

It was breezy and everything so it was quite enjoyable.

This is the only picture from my phone even though it's not a really good one of either of us!

On Tuesday I went to the Jack Johnson Concert
with Kelsey and Kathy after taking a much needed day off work! My alergies have been acting up like crazy so I called in...

This is a picture of the impending doom cloud looming over our outdoor lawn seats. It only rained on us for 5 mins and it was pretty light so it wasnt too bad. Then it stopped a little before the actual concert started.

It was super tons of fun and I'm really happy I got to go!

My camera takes really distored pics at night with the flash on but it's better than nothing. Kelsey took much better pics with her actual camera... but these are mine so here ya go.

Guess what? Stayed the same! :(

It's ok. Always next week. I'm gonna start walking - it's just so dang hot. And the free cable is calling my name... I told Amanda that I wanted to get a bike and ride it to starbucks so i could get a drink, use the wifi and get some exercise... but thats a lot of effort. I'm a lazy bum.

Thats all for now later loves...

lbs, love and life

So since I don’t have much to go on for updates this is going to turn into a place to silently weigh-in and be accountable. At least this way I’m going to (once a week) acknowledge my weight (up or down) and say why. Or try. I’ll keep ya up to date on the going on too, don’t you worry. There is just less of that than weight to drop so ya know… that’s why I wanted to give you the heads up. J

So last week I was right at or just over 250. Only 8 lbs away from my known highest weight ever. This morning I weighted in and was at 246. That is -4 for sure lbs, and this time I’m going to try and keep them off. I’m going to moms for dinner tonight and could sure gain it all back in one meal, but I told her I wanted something low carb so she’s making grilled chicken and veggies. I’m sure there is going to be a roll or desert in there somewhere and I’m just going to have to be strong willed about it. Meat, veggies, the end.

In other news, Sanah, my dear dentist student friend, talked me into taking advantage of eHarmony’s free 10 day trial. In those 10 days I was talking to 4 guys. I have no clue what they look like b/c you cant see pics until you actually join, but I got email address from two of them so I can try to get to know them a little more. :/ I think I’m still going to join, but only if I can get some months for free, or super cheap. The site sent an email saying if you “communicated” in the free trial they’d give you 3 months for $19 each and 3 months free. That’s like $10/month. I could do that. But I’m not about to spend 40 – 50/month or sign up for 12 months b/c I’m just really not that desperate yet to pay quite that much. Not that it’s a desperate measure to go to the site in general, but to sign up for so long and spend so much money… I’d rather wait for a discount.

I guess that’s it for now. Love yous…

Back on my bandwagon

Since I trust, whole heartedly, the all of two people who read this - I'm gung ho-ing for weight loss again. I stumbled across this girl who lost like 150 lbs and looks amazing. No fad diets or surgery. Gave me a little boost of motivation. I also got on peer trainer but that doesn’t do crap. They really try to get you to join groups to get you for that support/motivation but the few groups i tried to join either had ppl wanting to loose less than 20 lbs (not in the same league) or ppl who didn’t seem active on the site anymore. A lot of good those group would do... regardless I'm jumping back on... So here's what's up. From last March to November I lost 40 lbs. YAY! But since last November I've put all but 10 lbs back on. and really more like all but 8 lbs. I started a Weight Loss Competition at 258 (I think). And got down to 218... but Now I’m right at that 250 brink. I can’t believe I let myself do that. I really need to get started again. But my problem is no one is holding me accountable. I know I need to do this for myself, but it's hard... obviously or I would never have let all that work disappear.

I think I'm going to go the calorie counting route - it makes the most since and a lot of places have it posted on their nutritional info section so I won’t have to be hermit to loose weight. I'm also giving me a dead line. My 25th bday. Almost an entire year! The only problem I have is that I don’t know what weight I can be. For my "height and age" I'm supposed to be anywhere from 114 - 150 lbs - However I set my goal to be 160 lbs. That’s 90 lbs in year. And they are suggesting that I should consume about 1,366 calories a day to reach my goal weight of 160 lbs by July 07, 2011. – Which should be totally doable. It’s like 8 lbs a month – so only like 2 lbs a week. Really? That should be a snap. But I’m not going to get over confident. I gave myself a goal to be under 200 lbs by this past birthday and failed miserably. Instead of beating myself up about it – I’m going to start over and with a fresh conscious and a positive attitude.

Keep me on track friends… I need your support and loving ridicule when I start to slack.
Me as of today, 7/27/10 - This morning exactly 250.0

Exxxxxciting!

Ok… maybe not so many X’s b/c we all know my life is not X-Rated but still. I’m excited about this!

Colored pens to make the work day go by faster!

Dogs that lay on their sides/schlep over…. Such cute droopy faces!

Also new quotes from cute dogs: “there once was a noody named jackalope‏…”
This provided quite the hardy laugh from Amanda and I at lunch on Tuesday.


Annnd…. New Goals! I know it’s not new but it’s the first time I’ve spent anytime looking into and I’m in LOVE with Hungry Girls simple swaps. It’s a lot like “Eat This, Not That” but most of the “Eat This” dishes are recipes for you to make your own. Hints where the goal comes in. I’m not a cook or a baker or even a simple mix it up-er. So my goal is to make something new everyday. I don’t know for how long but I’m hoping I’ll work out my kitchen kinks and get a few recipes down as my tried and true’s and delectable defaults and can whip something up if need be.

If you haven’t browsed around on the page, please do… this is where I was getting most of the swap ideas from: http://www.hungry-girl.com/chew/index.php?start=0&page=1

Venting…

I’m 24. This kinda stuff shouldn’t bother me but the more and more I hear about the goings on with two (I guess now) used to be friends I get very agitated. So this is a brief set up the situation and then I’ll delve down a little deeper.

My birthday party was on Friday the 2nd to accommodate Kathy’s friends party on Saturday the 3rd. Not a big deal, moved it up one day. So with that the normal people were invited but not too many showed up. It was still fun. What gets on my nerves is that P and D were invited but didn’t say word one either way to me or Amanda. Austin started playing middle man to figure out if they were going and after a few back and forth’s lead us to believe that they might come over, just after work. Come to find out they had no intention on showing up at all. They had better plans with a friend from The Church and just went there instead… Ok, so a little crappy but what makes it worse is that they were texting Austin, who did have the decency to show up – early even and help with the decorations, to try and get him to leave and join them… What the F is that? I mean if you don’t consider yourself my friend enough to even decline the invite – fine. But to try to take someone from my party and get them to join you is straight up shitty.

THHHHHEN they go out with the same group of people (from The Church) for another party this Saturday. I mean really. I know I’m not super fantastic when it comes to parties but good lord. You bail on my birthday to party with them two weekends in a row? That’s rude.

But what makes it worse is that even thought we haven’t been close to them in really the past year, when Pearce got diabetes we were the only people to visit him besides his family and Dani and Austin. I mean… none of those amazingly awesome and fun church people were there. AND Amanda and I skipped the Parade to hang with him practically ALL Saturday then when he got out, they went M.I.A. again Amanda’s party, showed up super late and only stayed for maybe 1 hour. Really, that’s gratitude if I ever saw it myself.

24 years of existance

So today, I'm 24. Not any huge number by any means but unlike most years I actually feel a little different. Usually I just roll over and still feel the same - and it's not that I feel older but maybe more efficient or motivated. And I don’t even know what it is I'm motivated for - just in general. So like always I want to make a to do list - but I want to keep too it. And I want other to keep me too it to. But this time it's fun stuff. It's thing that will get me out of my bubble and hopefully enjoy some new things.

1. I want to go to the movies at least once a month. Redboxing is good and all... but we went to the movies a week or so ago and really enjoyed it. Prior to Toy Story 3, it was probably the last HP that I saw in a full priced theater. So yeah, it had been a while.

2. Mini-trips. We (Amanda and I) talked about taking a lot of little trips in and around Texas and the surrounding states. 5-ish hour drives in each direction to get out of the doldrums we fall into in our everyday lives.

3. Volunteer. I'm thinking either tutoring or pets. Maybe both. Kids would be safer but I think pets would be funnier... but I read more into in and they caution you a lot if you have your own pets so that you pass any disease from the shelter pets to yours.

4. Spend money on things that matter - I want to give myself an allowance to buy myself soemthing every once in a while. Not of food like I normally do, but if I have money left over at the end of the month I can use it on me. Something I'll really enjoy - whatever that is.

5. Date. Yes I know... Me, really? Yes. This is probably the one I'm gonna need the most help with. Not just to get the dates, b/c that is obviously problem numero 1... but also to make myself actually do it. I know me well enough to say that if/when I get asked out (which may not even be within this year, wheph) I'd probably run like hell in the opposite direction. I've always had this fantasy, for lack of a better word (maybe ideal is better), that I'd just fall into a thing with an existing friend/acquaintance. The whole thought of being set up or just meeting someone for the very first time with "expectations" is too much. But since I'm not falling into anything with someone I already know it leaves option number two... that I'm mortified of. :( Yet, I want to be pushed to do it, if the occasion arises.

6. Be spontaneous - you cant plan this, or it isnt spontaneous. I know... but I want to try and let my gaurd down so that I can be spontaneous. Even if it's just saying yes when I want to/normally say no to something. Just do new things - they almost always turn out. And if they dont, well then I'll know for next time...

7. New people - somehow, somewhere there has to be a group of people that I mesh with. I love my friends - esp the two who read this - and under no condition and I'm trying to replace. But others in "our" group dont seem to mesh very well anymore. I think I've purged a lot in the past. Some of it I regret and some of it I dont. Regardless, I would like to add a few new people to my friends list. I'm just not sure how to go about finding new friends - that's always been Amanda's strong suit.

But that goes back to the whole core of my attempt for this year – getting out of my comfort zone and seeing what happens. Not letting things pass me by because I’m unsure of the outcome. No one is truly prepared for anything – I need to stop playing it safe.

So for my birthday they graffitied my cubical with pictures of the cast of Hairpray… my fav of course being Christopher Walken!

Sailing.... take me away...

So... mom and I are in the middle of sailing lessons. Saturday and Sunday of last week - and tomorrow and this Sunday as well. Last weekend we didn’t have a lot of wind, at least not in our area so we didn’t go too far too fast, but it was still fun. A lot more work than I really thought it would be. What I did learn is that I like sailing the smaller boats, dinghy's if you will, when I'm going at it alone. The larger boats are really hard to maneuver because the tiller is so freaking sensitive AND when the instructor stands in the middle of the boat it blocks your vision, you have to move around to see past him, which in turn moves the tiller turning the boat, causing the instructor to criticize you asking "where's your point of sale... why are we of course”?

Tomorrow and Sunday we’re supposed to do some more of the independent Sunfish Sailing and then more large boat team work sailing. One thing I am kind of disappointed in, is that I thought sailing would be relaxing… kind of like lying in a hammock. Just enjoying the surroundings and having some peace and quiet. It’s not. Or at least not yet. I know I’m still learning but so far you have to be aware of everything. You have to know where you’re going and keep pointed that way. Adjust the sails each time the wind changes, even if it’s slightly. Then tack (turn) into the wind to start working the other direction like ping pong until you get to your destination…

Wish me luck. This weekend is going to be hot. I hope there is at least some wind to help propel us along.

Happy Times

I'm trying to adopt the very contagious "happy" outlook on life. I'm starting to think the only way to do it though, is to remind yourself everyday of what makes you happy instead of rehashing what upsets you. So I'm going to try. I feel like I'm a stump on a log sometimes, and I know everyone can be but I feel I am more often then most. First I'm going to lay out what it is I feel I'm missing so that I can leave it alone and move on.

1st and foremost - my job. it's boring and drains the life out of me everyday by the time I leave. I just want to go home and sleep. which brings us to

2nd - I feel lazy... like I don’t do anything. Maybe I miss school, and homework and studying for tests. I'm not sure. It's just that going home and having nothing to do drives me crazy. Like I need to implement my own mandatory housework or socializing work everyday so that I have some direction when I get home. I hate waisting the rest of the day sitting on my couch.

3rd - I'm lonely. Not only in the no one loves me way, although it would be nice to have a mutual love interest. I don’t really feel like I have many friends anymore. In college we had a ton of ppl that wanted to hang out after school until real late and all weekend long. Now, I have nothing to keep me busy AND no one to hang out with. (Besides my two lovely ladies that read this...)

4th - I'm fat. I'm working on it, but it's really hard. Every time I go on a diet I get hungry all day long. Like I know I shouldn’t eat it so I have to eat it... I set ridiculous goals for myself and beat myself up for not reaching them. Like now... I set a 3 lb weight loss per week goal.. I've lost like 2 in a whole month! Way to go me! :(

I'm sure there are more... but those are the big ones.

So to try and be happy more I'm going to:

1 - look for a new job within the company for 2-3 months after my 1 year hits (June 1st) then start looking outside. Find something new and interesting. Maybe a job that isn’t confined to a desk. My only hesitation is that b/c of my lease and rent due, I'd need to make at least what I'm making here... which really isn’t a lot and shouldn’t be too hard to do... lets hope.

2 - I already swim with mom and Amanda 2 to 3 times a week and go to moms on Tuesday for Biggest Loser. But I really enjoyed going to Taylor and Olivia's house for tutoring b/c it gave me a new thing to do. For two hours I was back in school helping little girls study. So I don’t know if I need to look for volunteer tutoring places or what, but I enjoyed having somewhere to be where my showing up mattered.

3 - I know for the love portion, no one can help me but myself... I'm utterly awkward and it doesn’t help. I'm shy and standoffish but I know the only way to meet the one is to meet everyone. I need to go out and socialize. Doing so might introduce new friends to my life. I loved the ones I had but people grow up and a lot of the time apart. It's not like they are completely gone or there was some big falling out with anyone, really, just that we don’t all doing much together anymore. Everyone's kinda doing there own thing.

4 - Keep on, keepin on. I've just got to accept that this is going to be a lifelong journey for me. I've always been big so it's always going to be something I have to work on. I'm going to need to dress up more (at my size) not wait to loose weight to buy clothes. Be happy for how I am while I am...

So there ya have it. I'll try to do a things that make me happy w/ pictures a little later when the new pics have been updated.

Love y'all!

Apriltastic

Soooo... we have a pretty fun Weekend planned. Starting tonight with hang outs with Allie and little B. Then tomorrow I hope I can just hang tight and stay at home for a bit. Get some laundry and cleaning out of the way. (Which totally reminds me... I forgot to move my loads over this morning. Dang it.) Then Saturday, Momma, Amanda and I are gonna go to Ennis for the Bluebonnets festival!! I'm excited. I love mini road trips and festivals. Then sometime Saturday and/or Sunday I'm sure we're celebrating Austins birthday. The big 22. Lol. Freaking baby. I'm sure we'll have lots of pics, just dont know when I'll be able to upload them. I'll try though. Maybe Sunday. Hope you have a fun weekend TOO!

Sooo I'll leave you with some pics of my doggies. The just get cuter and cuter.

Quinn laughing and having a good time.

Rascal tuckered out but still handsome.
Squish... doing what he does best. Being terrifyingly attractive.

Looking forward

So this was a nice weekend. The weather was amazing and I feel like I accomplished some things. Not a ton of things, but a little at least. Paid rent, paid doctor, mailed some stuff... etc. On Friday, Mr. Austin, decided to open so he could get off work and hang with us. We took a ultra-mini-road trip to Fort Worth and ended up parking in a church lot b/c it was the only free parking due to the Good Friday Mass. Walked around a lot in the Water Gardens and down into some of the bar/shopping area. Grabbed a drink and got on the road. I wanted to go to Argyle... b/c hello, I love Argyle sweaters. I knew it was close to Denton but I didn’t know exactly where so we made it up to Lewisville and detoured again to the CCA up there. It was kinda disappointing. More on the Goodwill side of things. Then we walked another shopping/eating area and grabbed dinner. Expensive dinner. But it was good and headed home. Amanda had plans with Sandi but Austin and I didn’t have any so we tagged a long. Just sat at her house reading internet funnies and catching up on what’s going on with her. She had to work in the morning so we didn’t stay long.
Saturday we went to Mommas to help her with Easter. Sam and Pam were at a Flea Market of sorts so it was just the 3 of us and Monster - like old times :). We caught up on some TV and dyed some eggs. Then headed back home to go Easter basket shopping with Amanda and Austin. Drove around some after that and ended up in Historic Downtown McKinney. Yes, Allie we were close to you but it was like 10:45pm... but we HAVE to explore this area with you in the day time where the shops are actually open. It was super cute. We called it a night not too late b/c we all had Easter plans. Got up hung with the dogs. Had brunch just me and Amanda at the Egg and I. The Easter bunny paid us a visit and we totally took a picture. Unfortunately I'm at work and cant upload it (or any from the weekend). We got to mom's around 2pm and they had hid Easter Eggs all over the "living areas" so Amanda and I rifled through our baskets and then dumped them out to hunt for eggs. Yes we are 23 and 25. It was actually really fun. So b/c we're twins we each ended up with half. 30 eggs each. We had delicious food and played two games of dominos. Then we headed home, again. Hung out with Austin, again. Then we headed to bed to get up for work today. And so I'm here - blogging when I could be working. But what’s the fun in that?

Happy Monday! Have a great week!

lah tea dah

So... not much is really going on but I'm kinda bored and wanted to add a post. I always feel akward doing stuff like this or playing on FB at work b/c ppl can see me and they give me dirty looks. :/

Anyway - so sum up March since I left it off. Amanda's bday was a blast. Good turn out of ppl. Not too much drama. Super fun with games and drinks. All over good time. :)

The weather is starting to look up so - even though I really wanted to take today off and spend it outside, I came to work. BOOOO! It's ok. After work we can spend outside. Amanda and I both have to get our cars inspected today. I bet it's going to be a mad house anywhere we go b/c of all the other procastinators. But after that it's all fun in the sun!

Not a lot going on next month I think, but we'll see what comes around.

This weekend :)

I'm actually looking forward to this weekend. I'm hoping it will be quiet and productive. I've spent a lot of money recently but it was for a good cause - Amanda's bday (no expense is too much) and St. Pattys (it only come around once a year). However, there are still some things that i want to get. Like summer shoes. I'm real excited about sandals. I love open toed shoes. I think I hear Target calling my name. I already got one... but I figure at $20 a pair, it's really not that bad. Also... some new tops and skirts/dresses. I'm feeling the girly vibe (that is so not like me) but I'm going with it. We'll see just how far I go with it, but I'm gonna start now.

I want to spend every weekend outside... doing something. Even if it's just like outdoor market/mall window shopping. I want to be out, in the sunshine (when it finally gets here for good) and enjoy it. Who's with me? If it sways you, Allie... I might even go to the ZOO!

Outdoor summer events I'm excited for:
Brooks and Dunn Concert
Dave Matthews Concert
Baseball games (at least 2, hopefully 4)
Arboretum (finally - Amanda, ya down?)
Zoo (if Allie so wishes)
Random photo-ops at parks
Festivals:
Lone Star State Park
Fair Park Dog Bowl (not sure what it is exactly but I wanna go for the puppies)
Taste Addison
Lake Grapevine Fireworks (every Friday from Memorial Day to Labor Day)
Denton Air Fair Fest (for mom... she loves planes)
USO party for my bday.... oh yes!
Oktoberfest
State Fair
Addison World Fest (kinda weird, so not a have to go)
Addison Bookworm Bash (BOOKS!!!)

*ok, so maybe I went a little crazy... some of those are after "summer" but it's ok. It's still fairly warm here until November-ish. :)

It's a pretty good day and I'm in an optimistic mood. Again, I cant wait for this weekend even though there is no concrete plan. I'm also excited for some "surprise" Amanda and Allie are keeping from me. It's ok... I like surprises.

My most fav person is having a birthday...

... that's right. It's you, Amanda!! :)

And in honor of your day I'm updating my blog. Today isn’t so bad... but the month of March hasn’t gotten much better overall. In last blog I talked about a few upcoming events:

Sam and Pam moving - awkward. love them to death but it's so weird having them at mom's house all the time. It's most different than awkward... but sometime a combo of the two.
Irish Fest - missed it
St Pattys Parade - missed it
Amanda's birthday - TODAY! Celebrating it in full swing at work. This morning we got up and went to Denny’s for her free bday grand slam. Got to work right on time. Had delicious chicken salad sandwiches at lunch (thanks, Linn). Plans for after work: Check on the pooches. Get pedi/mani. CCA for a table I hope they still have b/c she wants its. Dinner with Mom, Sam and Pam. Cake and Presents. A fairly action packed day, don’t ya think?

Later in the month - Amanda's actual party. Should be a blast. I still don’t know what I'm gonna be... or how to dress up.

Just for redundancy - Happy Birthday Amanda!!! Hope 25 treats you well!

March

Soooo March is generally one of my fav months. I have no plans to change this but have to admit it has not started off with a bang. Granted we are only 3 days in... but I'm in a down and out mood and just over all not feeling it. With that said there are a lot of things to look forward to this month... Sam and Pam moving out here (will at least be very different and interesting), Irish Fest, Saint Pattys Parade and Amanda's 25th bday bonanza... there is also this thing I don’t have much info on but am interested in at Fair Park called Lone Star State Fest. It’s the last weekend in March so we’ll see if I end up doing anything for it.

Today is crazy busy but since I’m not really feeling it I thought I’d take a minute for myself (and fill you in). Have a nice rest of the week… I’m gonna try to do the same myself.

Starting again

So today isn’t a day of any importance… just a day that I figured since I was kind of bored at work and have some time to jot a few words down, i would. It’s a also a day when I re-remembered that I was fat. A fatty mcfat fat, if you will. And that I want to do something about it. To recap since the majority of the world doesn’t know me I’m 23 years old and have been overweight since I was about 8. That’s third grade… right? Moving on. The only time since then I was remotely “not fat” was for the years of 7th – the end of 9th grade. I had a few growth spurts that allowed me to appear elongated instead of expanded. Unfortunately by the end of high school I was well over my appropriate weight limit and have yet to loose and keep off any significant weight. I’ve lost some… and gained it right back several times over the years. The most recent attempt was about a 6 month stretch where I lost about 40 pounds… from mid March 2009 to the end of October 2009. Unfortunately, it’s now late February 2010 (almost 4 months) and I’ve gained 30-something of it back. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me… it’s like I’ll be dedicated and things will be going well and then as soon as I get results I get cocky and figure I don’t need to pay attention anymore and then my new pants don’t fit and my old pants are still a little big and I’m pissed off and don’t want to try again.

Small picture re-cap of my weight over the last two years:
Dec 2008 (not even my "biggest" but a good second)

March 2009 (when I started the weight loss challenge)

Sept/October 2009 (really could see some results)

Dec 2009 (before I started to gain it all back)

Feb 23, 2010 (starting over)

Here I am… trying again. And I’m hoping to log my progress. Not that this blog will be entirely about weight loss but wish me luck anyway.